Saturday, June 19, 2010

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Fathers Day to my Ken. Even though he is not my father he is the father of our child in the womb.

Its sad Fathers day for those of us without a Father. The same goes for Mothers Day for those without a Mother. The only think I can do is for this little guy swimming and bending and contorting himself into a ball, is to just remember.

I have been writing in a book not alot, but some about what he does in my belly. Like the time I was laying on my side and he tickled me. Or how he gets himself jammed in my lower belly and he continues to sit there and play the drums on my bladder. Im not even going to mention all the fun he is having leaning on my sciatic nerve. All these things for which I am grateful for going through!

Memories is all that we have sometimes to teach others about how something was done 15,20,10, or 3 yrs ago . Memories are what we have to teach life lessons to one another. All I have of my father are memories or "fingerprints". My child will not experience the Grandaddy as a person, but he will experience all that I have to teach him that my father taught me. Now this is not to hurt feelings because there were 2 people in my upbringing. My mother had just as much a hand in it as my dad did. She will play a key part in memories as well.

Ken and his friend pained the Babe room today. In that room I watched as the strokes covered the plain white walls with a Navy Blue 2, ( the room is NO WHERE near Navy Blue ) I thought in this room is a new fresh coat of paint. My fathers "fingerprints" are everywhere on those walls. With every memory I will tell Babe in that room one more "fingerprint" will appear. That will just be what my father has left to me. I hope that he has my dimples. That's one more "fingerprint" from my father.

I do believe that dreams tell all.. My father came to me in a dream. I swear to God and Heaven above. He is the one that told me I was preggers. I told Ken the next morning he told me to take a pregnancy test. I did .. It was negative. I was sad but I was like You wait til I see that man again. Life went on and 2 wks later I had another dream. My father was holding a baby and it was my baby. My dad had said see I told you... Never doubt me. I again told Ken and I waited all day to take another PG test. I didn't want to be let down. I took one and didn't tell Ken. This time it was positive. I was Pregnant. I haven't seen him in my dreams since.

Is that sad? Nah... Its just one more fingerprint!


Lorraine said...

nice dreams :)

my kids know abt their grammy; it is nice to tell them abt her although of course sad why i have to